PROVING THE BFF WRONG!

So my BFF said that she would be shocked if I posted something new. Well she is in luck the place I work for is closed this week except for our team. so ha ha I am bored to death. Good thing I have the rest of the week to have back to back meetings

There is a HUGE reason that I am writing this blog in this color it is so that BFF could comment back on "OOH It's Green, Yep It's really GREEN" So that maybe she will forgive me for the Green comment I made on her bathroom, Which is completely beautiful with the white accessories. It tones the green down A LOT!

As most of you know I travel to California every 3rd weekend of the month, I was the "Disneyland" Mom for the first year and than suddenly noticed the change in the attitude with the children as soon as I stopped. So we have decided to go and start swimming at Mike's sisters... Personally I love it and have a great time

I know that non of this makes any since BUT I only did it cuz BFF said I wouldn't ha ha

Royal Caribbean Commercial POSTED BY LIFESESCAPE.COM

Royal Caribbean Commercial POSTED BY LIFESESCAPE.COM

The exact behavior of the wonderful 12 year old daughter on vacation!

Royal Caribbean Commercial POSTED BY LIFESESCAPE.COM

The exact behavior of the wonderful 12 year old daughter on vacation!

The wear and tear that children do

The wear and tear that children place upon your body is not nice! physically and emotionally, I have not posted on my blog the entire time my children were here on vacation, I would have loved to share the moments as they were happening BUT my sweet "12" year old daughter has the office/bedroom when she stays, if you have read my blog before than you know of the trials and tribulations that I went through when I didn't know where my children were. So in short! WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??????????/
ahh the love of a 12 year old girl who screams at her Mom (because I wouldn't let her eat on the couch that night for dinner ) so quickly goes to her room and slams the door and proceeded to announced that she is calling her dad and telling him that I am starving her. Quickly (she got my attention) she received her food in her room and didn't come out for the rest of the night, I also told her NO cell phone for the rest of the evening except to phone her "PARENTS" ( her dad and step-mom) but to her they are her parents, so what does the smart 12 year old girl do? she sits on the phone for 2 hours, yes I said 2 hrs with her "MOM' (are any of you hearing any resentments here) complaining how she is home sick and Needs to come home, ah yes it is only the beginning of the issues you may have with a tween girl in your home.

I have this friend that I work with who remains to be anonymous and the fact that she has her masters in parent education called to see how I was doing with the 3 kids at home, as I was speaking to her the wonderful children decided to engorge themselves on otter pops. after about the 8th one for each I finally started to yell, (I am a yeller & remember the parent educator on the phone) I threatened them with an inch of their lives, and yelled for them to put the otter pops down put their hands in the air and step away slowly. My friend quickly began to laugh at me and stated "You actually parent quite well" as I was shocked and flabbergasted my daughter chose to take down my 8 year old son, and proceeded to beat the crap out of him while I was on the phone, I am sure you can all think of what I was going to do next, yes yes threaten them that I would duct tape them to a tree in the back yard. It didn't work,

A couple of days later I took my 12 and 8 year old to the dentist 1st time EVER (their father is too busy spending money on cruises to Alaska and Motocross races) we discovered that the 12 year old needed 2 rotten teeth pulled, and the 8 year old needed 12 cavities filled and 1 tooth pulled, OK here's the horrible parent part, after they were pulled my daughter was curled up in a ball on my lap at the dentist crying for her Dad it took everything in my body to not say "well if your Dad would have taken you, you wouldn't be going through this" that would be called self control right there, after a few days they both wanted their teeth that were pulled so that their "Parents" could have them, they whined and cried and carried on, (by this time I usually give in) BUT!!!!!!! I was quite done with the situation and finally stated to them that since "I paid for the teeth I am keeping them"

There are many many conflicts that happened with them all, I am no longer feeling guilty for not being with them I am actually feeling sorry for them that they are not being brought up (this is my opinion and perception for how they treat me) with respect, gratitude, and great fullness. I don't know if its them, or if it's me, or what, Yes we have a lot to learn about each other, but respect is something that I am going to insist on.

I would like to say that all in all it was a wonderful warm and fuzzy vacation ( um yea I am totally lying) BUT it was hard, it was difficult, frustrating and I cried every single night that they were here. The hardest thing was to listen to them call their parents and tell them over and over and over again how they missed and loved them. I know it's going to take some time and understanding but I would give anything in the world for them to say it to me once, just once. I am heartbroken, and have this feeling in my heart and gut that I don't even have a word for.

Yosemite

As most of you have seen the commercial about the girl on the cruise and how the family is looking for just a glimpse of the smile! and ahh but yes I have had the pleasure of going through that personally, I am absolutely convinced that the girl must be 12, although I am sure that My daughter didn't behave that way on their cruise to Alaska this summer, NO she just behaved this way due to the hiking, the climbing and dealing with 2 younger brothers and camping at one of the most beautiful places in the country YOSEMITE! I was able to go to the park when I was a kid and felt compelled to share these moments with the children. Boy was I wrong, needless to say I had a very much of a "Mommy Meltdown" in the middle of the Yosemite parking lot, thinking that nothing is ever good enough for my 2 middle children, I never felt so unappreciated in my life, I constantly tell them that "I am the Poor Parent" I can not afford cruises, I can't afford expensive things, what I can do for them is try and teach them that not everything in their life has to be Flashy or have the Look at Me attitude,
I want to teach my children gratitude, grace fullness and respect, I know that they are confused and angry for what has happened in the past, and at first I felt guilt, and ashamed, But those feelings are gone gone gone, I don't parent with guilt anymore, I don't spoil them and try to buy their love back I truly understand that they are young but they will not run me over with a Mack Truck no longer,