Ok so to make the long story of my life pretty short as short (as 16 years of using, 2 ex husbands and 4 children later) I didn't see Mycalah (My -kay-la) and Dylan for almost 6 years , I sent my oldest to his dad's at age 9 and now he is 16, and shipped Mycalah and Dylan off to their grandparents in Vegas, why you asked? because their dad went to prison for manufacturing, yes manufacturing he thought that he could be in pharmaceutical sales. So I was deep into my addiction and had nothing left to loose, I am going to get somewhere in this story of mine, I have yet to see Jay my oldest he lives in Austin TX with his wonderful Dad and can't say enough nice things about his Step-Mom. On June 16th, 2007 I was reunited with Mycalah and Dylan, I found out where they were due to the fact that I was still married to their Dad! whoops did I tell you that I am married to a fabulous guy names Mike? ooh didn't get that far yet. so yes I broke all the rules of life, will get back to that drama later too. So Jeff sent me divorce papers and thought that I would sign relinquishment papers so that his fiance could adopt them I am sure that he thought I was still using, and whoops he's about 3 1/2 years too late at that time, why because I am a contractor for Child Welfare what do I do? I help mom's regain custody of their children when they are in the system. So they were not to happy with what I have done in my life. LOL LMAO I can never tell that story enough. I still get a great chuckle out of it. I love flashing my Child Welfare Badge, especially to them. So now I go to California every 3rd weekend in the month I drive 9 hrs to get there on Friday and spend 8 hrs on Saturday and drive home on Sunday that is my life I drive 18 hrs to spend 8 hrs with my children, ( I am sure it pisses Jeff and Julie off) that I have been very accountable and have never missed a visit yet oop lie, I missed in January due to the weather. I will do anything for these children.
SO back to what I am getting at is that I had my children home here in Oregon for Christmas Break for 10 days WOO HOO, they called me Mom, the best present anyone can ask for, I call them every Sunday faithfully at 7:30 PM to talk to them (this is where I am going with all this blah blah) They don't call me anything when I talk to them on Sundays ( every now and then they call me HEY) they act like it's a chore to speak to me, they dread talking to me on the phone, I can hear it in their voices, I don't understand, I am not offended that they call Julie Mom, heck she's been there for them more than I had in the past, I just want to be called Momma they can call her mommy I am the Momma, I had them for spring break we had a great time I even put them all in time out for fighting, Dylan asked if he could call me Mother, all I could think of was Pink Floyd, I kindly answered the question of you call Julie Mommy and me Momma, I think thats fair,
I want them to treat me the same way on the phone as they do when they are with me with love, and respect. yes they are probably confused and angry with me for what I did and I carried that guilt around for YEARS, but as I have worked steps with my sponsor I no longer feel guilty the best thing I did for my children was I loved them enough to let them go to someplace safer than being with me. I don't know why they treat me weird on the phone, I just don't understand it SO if anyone could possibly give me some answers to this freaking question I would be greatly appreciative.
3 comments:
Sweetie, I don't have much to add than what I've already said. They are young. They've been hurt. Give them time; it hasn't been a year yet. And have the conversation with Mycalah - even if she says, "I don't know" at least the conversation will be percolating around in her mind.
You are fabulous and you are making great strides. I can't get enough of you! Even if you think I'm only funny queer.
Well "Mother," I hope you have a good, safe drive to California and a wonderful time with your kids. I will miss you....And I expect a full post when you get back.
Hey Liz,
The only thing I can add is that maybe they don't want to hurt their Step-Mom. They may feel like they are betraying her by liking you. I know that sounds weird, but they are young and you might just need to give them more time to feel comfortable with having two Mom's in their lives.
I hope this helps.
Post a Comment